You are viewing an extraordinary out-of-this-world item!! I’m a humble, born-again, promise-keepin’, Bush-lovin’ woman living in a trailer park in a Red State. I guess you could call me a Fundamental. Most of my neighbors call me “mental” for short. I am pro-life of course (and therefore passionately in favor of the death penalty.) I made this sandwich 10 years ago. A humble pastrami-on-rye - lightly toasted with a little Dijon mustard and a pickle. (Anything that hastens the coming Rupture – such as eatin’ that kosher-style kaballah food - is just fine with me.)

As I was about to take a bite out of it – imagine my shock when I saw a face looking up at me. It was The Virgin Martin staring back at me! A vivid representation of Martin Lewis age 14 - before he lost his virginity! I was in total shock!

I did not eat the sandwich – it would have felt like sacrilege. I just couldn’t imagine putting any part of Martin Lewis in my mouth…. I decided to preserve it for posterity. For 10 years it has been housed in Tupperware. Underscoring the miracle of this Immaculate Confection – even though it was not a vacuum-sealed container – no mould or bacteria has grown on the sandwich. It just preserved itself – which I consider a miracle. Even for a cured meat product.

People ask me if I have had blessings since he has been in my home. I do feel I have. I have won over $23 (total) on different occasions while playing the penny-slots at the casino nearby my trailer-park. Also I prayed hard for President George W. Bush to be given an overwhelming mandate in the recent election – and 60 million people voted for him out of the 218 million American citizens eligible to vote. That’s nearly 30% of the electorate! (What a mandate…! What a man…!)

I would like all people to know that I do believe that this sandwich represents the Virgin Martin. That is my solemn belief. But you are free to believe that he is whomever you like…

SERIOUS BIDDERS ONLY! DO NOT BID IF YOU INTEND TO RETRACT THE BID OR FOOL AROUND, THERE IS NO RESERVE ON THIS AUCTION!! I AM STARTING IT OUT AT THE BOTTOM LINE PRICE THAT I INTEND TO SELL THIS ITEM FOR!!

I would like all bidders to know that this item is not intended for consumption. It is inedible and for collectible purposes only. Here’s to Armageddon!

To learn more about: The Virgin Martin, trailer-trash, pastrami, The Rupture, kaballah, Tupperware, the Immaculate Confection, kosher-style cured meat products, George Bush's "mandate" or Armageddon - please click here.